Toxic Thinking

I am reading this diet book called The Goddess Diet by Anita Revel. It doesn't just talk about what to eat but how to re think things. Not a brainwashing program like some people may think. But as women we sabotage ourselves a lot. Here is an excerpt on toxic thinking.I will be the first to admit I am a huge toxic thinker. This is what I am working on currently:

Over thinking things is what gets me into a lot of predicaments. I just wanted to share what The Goddess Diet had to sat about what might show you are in the midst of toxic thinking.

Pondering life and soul matters can lead to self-improvement, but when that pondering turns into a noisy headache of nagging thoughts, it’s time to tone it down.

Are your thoughts toxic?
Can you accept help from others?
Do you often think, “why can’t I get going?”
Are you fiercely independent and proud of it?
Do your criticisms outweigh your compliments?
Is it easier to complain about something than fix it?
Are you afraid to let others see your vulnerable side?
Have you had a loss that you haven’t properly grieved?
Does an imperfection prevent you from success?
Do you rehash situations and wish they’d gone better?
Have you had a major life change that wasn’t given enough time to adjust?

If you answered ‘often’ or ‘always’ to most, you may be worrying about things than working on them.

Babies

So I was told I don’t blog enough which I don’t so I thought perhaps I should. Confused, yet? Good! But really this is how some people catch up with me so I should post.

Things are going at a quick pace in my world. I am going to school to become a physical therapist, working part time, keeping a belly dance class going and trying to keep my home life together all at the same time. But I am enjoying every minute of it.

Over the past week, I have witnessed something. I will call it the “You can take my baby” syndrome. I don’t mean actual children when I am talking about this. I am talking about projects, hobbies, things, not children. Both situations the people don’t seem to have much of a life other than what their ‘baby’ is. I can empathize with this completely. A person can get so involved with something that it falls into every part of their life and fills holes thought never to be filled. So when the ‘baby’ is threatened with release, whether it is by the person who owns the baby or by another, these people hunker down, like a turtle in its shell. They lash out at odd times and take things extremely personally. I don’t really blame them in a way though. When you have something that is a part of your life and it is the very air you breathe, you do lash out. But when you are in the situation you don’t see the pain you cause or the harm you inflict. You just want your ‘baby’ to succeed. You burn bridges, you tell people that they don’t matter in your demeanor but it is all for the good of your ‘baby’.

I feel bad for these people that they don’t have enough in their lives for this not to happen. I should feel more pity than I do right? But I don’t because I was one of the people they have hurt. So now I have to watch them try to flounder and find life outside of the care of their ‘babies’.

I am focusing on my dancing and my home this summer. I also need to get in better shape since I plan on being a physical therapist. I am going to post my progress on here.

Now I am off to do yard work. Weeee

Fall

Well it seems here in Springfield, we have gone from summer into early winter. No fall really. Just cold and damp. At least the leaves are starting to change. It makes me want to curl up with a good book and a cup of earl grey tea. Life seems too busy for that.
I am teaching at the local college one night a week, then doing private lesssons for a couple of people. Plus practice for the super secret thing. Work and then getting ready for school in January.
Now my husband is training in mixed martial arts, MMA for short. He is made for those kinds of things and seeing him do them constructively makes me very proud.
So, I have my first wedding under my belt. I loved doing it. It made me happy to see others happy.
Hips noir went well. I loved seeing the different dancers. I went outside of my confort zone and danced to something faster than before. I hope to post pictures soon.
I am off to eat my apple with caramel. I love fall! The leaves the smells. Time to get ready for the holidays! I know I should not speak of such things, but if I don't start now,no one will get anything for Yule!

New road

So I am finally doing it. I am going back to school. I have decided I want to be a physical therapist.
I was having some physical therapy done and realized how much I would love to do it. I will start by getting my PTA degree and then work as a PTA until I get my PT degree.
Filling out apps and forms and such, it is a little daunting. But I so want to do this. I want a better life for myself.
I feel led to this. I hope that makes sense.

On other news: I have been diagnosed with PCOS. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. A lot of people freak when I tell them this, thinking that cysts are synonomous with cancer of the ovaries. This is a syndrome. I am not dying. I have insulin resistance which cause hormone changes, which causes cysts on my ovaries instead of ovulating. TMI? Too bad. I could tell you about the growing of hair in some places and the loosing of hair in other places, acne and a plethera of other things but I am sure you don't want to hear that too. The doc has put me on mentformin which is wonderful, that is a lie. I am nauseous constantly. Doc says things will level out soon. I am okay with a little nausea as long as I can be relatively normal.

We finished the Artist's Way. I planning on going through it again. I was busy moving at the time to get the full affect. I do recommend it. It opens a lot of doors that one would think were closed forever.

Our house is great! I love it. Room to move and dance and love! It is the gate for our new life. And now we are back full circle.
I have a lot of hope right now.

A new home

"So we have officially moved. The animals are here now and they seem to be enjoying it. Thing 1 and Thing 2 (my dogs) love the front yard. We have to defoliate the back yard. I saw we I mean Kevin and any volunteers because I am very allregic to poison ivy, which is back there.
Of course things are still in boxes. But it is home, really home.
Sometimes late at night, it is too still and quiet. The back room is not overly friendly, but we can fix that. The animals don't even like it back there. Nothing to worry about though.
I love having our own washer and dryer. Don't have to wait on someone else's loads.
I have my own room, to dance, sew and create in! How great is that?!?!? I haven't had that in a long time. I will post pictures soon.
It is our home. And although there will be adjustment time I love it!"

Love

I have noticed a lot of things lately. A lot of things. It is like my brain is over full. And I love it. I am working and finishing a lot of my projects.
The belly dance class is going well. So I am going to continue to teach on Tuesdays at 6. Teaching has really opened my eyes to a lot of things. I am learning as I teach. Another thing I love!
We are moving in 3 weeks. It has been so long. And I have been very patient. I look forward to all the freedom we will have and the chance to make our own home. Yet another thing I love!
The Artist's Way....holy cow Batman! It is opening my eyes, my heart, my brain. It makes me realize what I can truly accomplish.
My body is not so happy lately. I am active and it is resisting. I will not give up though. I refuse to be like my family before me. I will not give in to the pain. I will win this.
I love my husband for supporting me through all of this and helping to keep my spirits up when I feel completely overwhelmed.
The last thing I am starting to love. Notice I said starting is myself. I deserve a new home, a healthier body, to expand my artistic side. I love me. Quirky, talky, funny, pretty, sexy, curvy, smart me.
How about that!?!?

Xrays

So I got the results back on my xrays. I do have the early stages of arthitis in my hips, pelvis and lower lumbar.
My mother went on and on about heredity. And how her grandmother was inmobile by the age of 55 and her father was on crutches because of the arthritis in his back.
Well I say screw heredity. I am not my mother and I will not go down without a fight. I think the xrays lied. I don't have arthritis. I refuse.
So I am taking the steps to take better care of myself. Walking everyday, even if it is for 10 mintues. I am moving. Stretches and dancing. Glucosamine and MSM. I will not loose this battle.
So there :P