Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Children of all ages

I love the circus. Always have. I wanted to be the girl on the flying trapeze. I wanted to run away and join the circus. (I also cheered every time my mom told me she was going to sell me the gypsies, but that is another story.) I love watching anything aerial at the circus.
So what got me on this subject. I found a new online magazine. Here is the link:

Check it out! I love it!

Sunday, February 22, 2009


On my brother's entertaiment center sits a piece of rusted metal. Most wouldn't notice it, others may even try to throw it away, but to my brother it means so much more. In that piece of wadded up metal tells a story of how he and several other soldiers almost lost their lives due to an IED on a road in Iraq. I can't imagine what that must have been like that, the noise, the smoke, the chaos. I know he helped with a hum-v, the casualty in the vehicle did not make it, he helped remove the body. It affected him on many levels, especially since this soldier, shared the same rank, position in the vehicle. even last names. Again I can't imagine.
My brother is a third generation soldier. My father is a Vietnam veteran, and my grandfather is a Korean veteran. My father never wanted the Army life for his children. He never wanted us to go through what he did.
But my brother went to Ground Zero after September 11th and felt compelled to join the Army, just as my father felt compelled to do so many years ago. They both thought they were doing the right thing, not knowing or not caring what it might do to them, what they were sacrificing or how long their sacrifice would last.
My father still has nightmares. My brother's have just begun. They did what they thought what was right. Their souls are now shattered because of the things they had to do. They are the walking wounded, ghosts flying about, the boogey man around the next corner. All we can do is be there and try to understand. All we can do is be there and try to understand.
Think about that the next time someone tells you that war is the right thing to do. Think about the piece of folded up blasted rusted metal that sits on my brother's entertainment center.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009


I just saw the commercial for Snuggie. Now snuggies to me have something to do with the junior high prank the wedgie which involves underwear being pulled into crevices until pain occurs.
But this Snuggie is a blanket with sleeves. It looks like a choir robe to me. And in varying colors, light blue, navy blue and red.
I think that the Snuggie is actually cult wear for the future. Gone is the track suit and velcro shoes. Newbies would wear the light blue and then graduate from there. The only question is are you ready for the red robe?
Watch the commercial and tell me what you think.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


I know things on my blog are scattered. That is my mind set right now. There is so much going on right now.
Two weddings, yes I said two. There certain things that one needs to do. Besides the relief in the second bride's face was worth it, at least for now. I have to make my dress for the first wedding. I have everything cut out, I just need to put it together. Haha I sew and curses fly out of my mouth. I should record it some time so you can see. The second wedding needs a lot of help in the planning stage. I am willing to help her. I am a sucker at times. It makes things difficult, but I love to see others happy, even if it means sacrificing myself. I know, stupid girl you come first. Years of training take some undoing.
I really want to loose weight. I need to loose weight. My body suffers everyday because of the extra weight is hauls around, my breathing labors because of it. The pain I experience in every moment of the day is due at least partially to my weight. And a vey broken part of me must think I deserve it because I keep eating and eating, not exercising. I did start taking Alli and that seems to be doing something. So I have at least taken the first step.
My job is in a state of constant flux. I work for a chemical company that also sells fiberglass products. Our profits have been falling. Whose aren't? They just let one of my coworkers go on Monday. I got serious flash backs. I have worked for 2 other companies that went out of business. I watched people go and then before I knew the doors were closed. Not sure what I will do if that happens. I guess I will burn that bridge when I come to it.
We got a new car. 2003 red impala. She is pretty. I love her. At the end of July, we are moving to a home of our, something we have never had. There has always been roomates or family. I don't want to loose this opportunity.
Then there is my dancing. Not last on my list, but it is. Only because the other things keep jumping in front of it. When I dance, I love it. Even if I am just chair dancing. I feel graceful and beautiful. Well not all the time, sometimes I feel goofy and silly, but I mean to feel that way.
And somehow through all these things I must peace. Not sure how to go about it. I know it come from within but my in is too scattered. Silly viscious circle.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Grocery shopping

Today is my mother's birthday. I decided to go get her some flowers, she loves flowers and as I was shopping at the grocery store I realized how many stories are there. I got coffee, can't help but get it. And a young man, with down syndrome, tells his mother that he wants to order coffee for Sissy. With guidance from his mother, he orders a skinny vanilla latte, pays for it and carefully gets the change back. The baristas were so patient and kind, two things I don't always expect to see in people these days. He was so proud to do something on his own and beaming couldn't begin to describe what he was doing.
Then there was this older couple, both in long dark coats, looked like they had come from church. She had a cane. They walked slowly, deliberately. I realized that under the woman's hat there wasn't a lot of hair. Cancer and it's treatment had cut it for her. But she wasn't a victim, she was a survivor. Her stance, her walk strong able to defeat anything.

Those were jusst two of the stories I saw. There are so many more.

On another note, we went to see a house today. It is small but it will work for the two of us, so much potential. We will make it work. We will be moving at the end of July, beginning of August. I am so excited.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Getting over it

So I saw some people tonight that I didn't really want to see, but it was bound to happen sooner or later. Our circles run too close. Some of the reactions, not mine, were a little over the top. One would think after 13 years that things could be let go, but I guess not. I was angry because it was so high school and why poeple couldn't understand that that was a different time and things were done/said that were in that moment and cannot be changed now. For the hate and anger to still be so fresh took me by suprise. And that was when I realized some people just can't get over it. What ever that it might be.
And that made me think that the next step in becoming the best I can be is letting go and getting over it. Those things in my past might be the very things that are standing in my way now. So I have to step away from what I once was in order to become what I want to be.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

The economy

So everyone is afraid of what is going on in the economy. And I am scared too, don't get me wrong. I watch my customers order less and then die away and it is very hard.
I felt panicked yesterday because we just bought a car. What would we do if one of us lost their job? I woke up this morning realizing we would deal with it. Like we have with everything else in our life, we will deal and move on.
Everything happens for a reason. Cliche I know. I think what is happening in the country today is to teach us that we need to value other things. We are ever so consumed with what money can buy us, the next big thing. We don't value ourselves or those around us anymore.
Maybe it is time to re-evaluate what I find important. The things I buy don't make me happy. I make me happy. Or at least I have that potential.
So cuddle your loved one, take a walk and say hi to your neighbors, dance naked in your living room, enjoy what you have. At least some of those things are free.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Think about it

I saw this in my email today. It made me think.

To everyone of us there must come a time when the whole universe will be found to have been a dream, when we find the soul is infinitely better than the surroundings. It is only a question of time, and time is nothing in the infinite.-Sai Baba

It made me think about how I am trying to change enverything on the outside and that isn't going to help what is going on the inside. It is time to spackle the cracks of my soul. Even though they make me me. I need to heal so I can become the best person I can be.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Shakespeare Sister

So Kevin and I went fleamarketing on Sunday. I was so excited to see a CD by Shakespeare Sister. I was even more excited to see that it had my favorite song on there. It's called Stay.
Check it out.
I got a really good Dvd this weekend also called Underbelly, it follows Princess Farhana around for a year. It has very good interviews and dance sequences. If you are into belly dance you should check that out too.


Goggles are good