Scattered

I know things on my blog are scattered. That is my mind set right now. There is so much going on right now.
Two weddings, yes I said two. There certain things that one needs to do. Besides the relief in the second bride's face was worth it, at least for now. I have to make my dress for the first wedding. I have everything cut out, I just need to put it together. Haha I sew and curses fly out of my mouth. I should record it some time so you can see. The second wedding needs a lot of help in the planning stage. I am willing to help her. I am a sucker at times. It makes things difficult, but I love to see others happy, even if it means sacrificing myself. I know, stupid girl you come first. Years of training take some undoing.
I really want to loose weight. I need to loose weight. My body suffers everyday because of the extra weight is hauls around, my breathing labors because of it. The pain I experience in every moment of the day is due at least partially to my weight. And a vey broken part of me must think I deserve it because I keep eating and eating, not exercising. I did start taking Alli and that seems to be doing something. So I have at least taken the first step.
My job is in a state of constant flux. I work for a chemical company that also sells fiberglass products. Our profits have been falling. Whose aren't? They just let one of my coworkers go on Monday. I got serious flash backs. I have worked for 2 other companies that went out of business. I watched people go and then before I knew the doors were closed. Not sure what I will do if that happens. I guess I will burn that bridge when I come to it.
We got a new car. 2003 red impala. She is pretty. I love her. At the end of July, we are moving to a home of our, something we have never had. There has always been roomates or family. I don't want to loose this opportunity.
Then there is my dancing. Not last on my list, but it is. Only because the other things keep jumping in front of it. When I dance, I love it. Even if I am just chair dancing. I feel graceful and beautiful. Well not all the time, sometimes I feel goofy and silly, but I mean to feel that way.
And somehow through all these things I must peace. Not sure how to go about it. I know it come from within but my in is too scattered. Silly viscious circle.

So

So there are so many things I want to accomplish so many things I want to finish. But I am lost as to where to start.

I want to loose weight. I know a very common thing to want. But I can't seem to get the motivation to do so. It is easier to lie in bed and watch tv than to exercise or even do one of the things I love the most, dance.

A part of me wants to do it. But something stands in my way. What is standing in my way?