I am working my way through the Artist's Way with a few lovely, intelligent ladies. We meet once a week to see how we are doing, a support group of sorts.
I was thinking about our last meeting and I realized that we quantified a lot of what we said to each other. We would say things like I know this is going to sound silly or funny or mushy or whatever. It was like we were making excuses for our words. Why? Have we kept our mouths shut for a long time that we have to excuse our thoughts before they are spoken? Our dreams have been dormant for so long that to speak of them out loud seems almost like blasphemy. Our souls have been crushed since we can remember so we hide what matters to us.
Our group isn't the only ones that do it. I noticed my co-workers were doing it also, today.
So I am trying to figure out why. Are we afraid we are being offensive? It doesn't stop us from yelling random obscenities at the offending driver that cut us off. Why can't we tell our friends how we feel, without excuse or apology?
Just a thought.
Sometimes, it makes me feel better to know that I have laid out my intent before I say something. In one of the Husband Person's games, there is an alien race called Elcor, that only speak in complete monotone. There is no inflection or expression. And because of years of being misunderstood by the other races for their intent, Elcor always quantify their statements before saying anything.
ReplyDelete"Surprise. I am glad to see you."
"Sincerety. I would like your help." and so on. Check it out on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5USn_CT_DpY
So, it can be a 2 way street. Quantify to apologize for your personal feelings, or quantify to make sure your meaning is understood.
That is a good point. I will check out the Youtube link when I get home. Thanks for the different point of view.
ReplyDelete